Dreaming about the past is cool and i have fear....

Its 4.31pm here, im alone at home, honey's sleeping i guess nope, i think i she is. Some of my family members went to the gym and some are in their school for some activities. Im totally bored to death now, I have no idea what to do right now and im totally sick having an headache right now.

I wish i could sleep right now but im scared i might end up being awake later where everyone is sleeping. Im listening to some music right now and im still bored. Today, early in the morning i was awaken by my dream. A dream of someones past, LOL it was a lil funny and weird though.

I was crying somewhere in town, i have no idea but i do look a little older than now. Not to say old that im 20 over or something, I just look like im not 18 anymore. While I was crying, an unknown girl came up to me and told me some stories about honey's past. She told me what did honey and her ex boyfriend did before, how honey misses him this and that. Weird right? Well some of the scene that pop out from the girls mouth was true. I dont know why but I felt angry in my dream and i kept on crying like a baby. I cant remember the girls name but she was an indian girl. I have no idea who is she but i know she might exist somewhere around honey i guess.

I got a whole lot of dreams about people's past and most of the are true. I have no idea why I have this gift because Im quite a sensitive person sometime and I can easily get hurt by peoples past sometime. I was lucky this dream didnt hurt me or anything but I just cant stop thinking why I was crying and felt angry in the dream. Did something happen between me and honey in it? erk... Dont want that to happen by the way. I just hope is just a normal dream and the motive of the dream is to know what happen in honey's past, nothing more than that.

Beside having a dream about honey's past, I do dream about someone else's past like my 2 ex girlfriends past which is awful and make me moody like hell. I dont know but im really scared of myself right now. Im scared if my jealousy would take over me again like what happen between me and my ex's. I could get into total rage when im jealous which i think is the most horrible part of me. I dont hit things or anything but I just cant stop mocking myself up with all kinds of words and let my loved one see me doing it.

I just hope that part of me is gone now. I just dont want honey to see that part of me because im scared she might hate me right after that. I know i wont be scolding honey or anything but i just dont want her to see me mocking myself up like an idiot. Thats my 2nd greatest fear after scared of losing honey because that attitude might make me lose honey which i really dont want it to happen.

I just love honey so much and im really scared of losing her. I wish that we will stay together till the end. I just want her thats all....